My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition
Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry
This is him
Cute, right?
Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.
So far, Barry has been found
On our dining room table
On my dad’s side of my parents’ bed
In my parents’ closet
Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)
Near the kitchen door
Near my fucking bed
At the bottom of my sister’s stairwell
In our bathroom
And down the hallway
This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn’t seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it’s always followed with a very loud “FUCKING BARRY!!!!!”
My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.
Update:
He found his way into my sister’s room.
And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.
Holy fuck this doll is creepy
Another update:
The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust
vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
i just think it’s incredibly poor planning that turtleneck season and vampire season fall at the same time. how dare you force me to choose between my two dearest loves at once. i want to speak to the manager.
hey so, as a man who works with other men, here’s a quick relationship tip: if he doesn’t much like cats, that might be just a personal preference. if he hates cats, if he tells you he hates cats as soon as he hears that you have a cat and love your cat, he’s an asshole. he’s telling on himself.
every guy i’ve ever worked with that makes a point of telling me how much he hates cats as soon as i mention that i have a cat and love my cat, is always someone who is regularly cruel for fun and who laughs in the breakroom about the mean things they do for fun to their girlfriends and children.
I wish I could articulate all the ways this makes sense and why it makes sense and stuff but it’s just like… something something misogyny something something resentment of creatures that don’t need you and don’t hang on your attention and approval all their lives.
I’ve already seen discourse on Twitter about Keanu Reeves and his girlfriend bc apparently, 46 ISN’T age appropriate for a 55 year old man or something and I’m starting to think some people don’t understand the discussion about age gap relationships….it’s not about age gaps themselves, it’s about adults dating people who aren’t adults (usually teenagers). But also, 46 and 55 is age appropriate jfc
Yeah bruh it’s not the actual gap ffs people, it’s the age gap RELATIVE TO THE PEOPLE’S AGES
Let’s see some examples:
3 year gap between a 15 and 18 year old: BAD. ILLEGAL. FUCKED UP.
3 year gap between a 30 and 33 year old: they’re practically the same age
10 year gap between a 25 and 35 year old: hmm kinda weird, might let it slide, but no.
10 year gap between a 60 and 70 year old: yeah trust me you’re good.
9 year gap between a 20 and a 29 year old: let me put this into perspective, person A could be in their second year of college and person b graduated 7 years before. That’s weird and they’re at INFINITELY different stages in life.
9 year gap between a 46 year old and a 55 year old: they’re both middle aged, they’re both at the same stage in life, they’ve probably both have had some sense of stability for a while now and probably no wildly violent life changes like high school/college/first job/first partner have happened in a while. It’s FINE.
I thought this explanation would be helpful since we do get a fair number of asks concerning age gaps
animal crossing
